don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
