Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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