my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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