This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
