Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
