Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i think i have two assholes
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Still dying that you shit outside
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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