yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
