He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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