In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
