a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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