I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
