also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
