Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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