And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
