You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
