sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
