I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
