Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
