So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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