apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
