chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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