$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
this just has baby written all over it
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
