The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
