At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
