Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just want nice things and good sex
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
