We're facebook friends in real life
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
