I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
