dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
