I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
