Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
