wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Randomize
