How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
