wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
