You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
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