i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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