I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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