I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
