I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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