Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm lost and stupid without you.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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