There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
