She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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