she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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