ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
