her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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