I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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