is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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