too bad you live with your parents still
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
