i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
