he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
