White coat. Heels.
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
