Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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