Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
