we have pet lesbian snakes
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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