I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
