'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
