Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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